Reflection: Religion or Relationship?

When we say we are Christian, what do we mean by using that term?  Does it primarily mean that we attend church, perhaps participate in Sunday School or small group?  Does it mean we have a Christian radio station on in the car?  Or do we mean that we have a vibrant and living relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ?

I have been hearing sermons and seeing books written juxtaposing Christian religion vs relationship.  This dichotomy is primarily concerned with getting rid of the bored parroting of actions people take in order to earn salvation by doing these certain things and instead replacing those actions with a freeing, loving relationship with Jesus Christ who then transforms us into persons who look like him. An analogy might be this: instead of a husband repeatedly bring his wife flowers and cards every week and thinking this earns her love, he should instead spend time with her, know her, and actually build a relationship with her.

Yet, I struggle with this dichotomy of religion vs relationship and am not sure it's entirely helpful.  The question continually comes back to, "how do I have a vibrant living relationship with Jesus?"  My answer is always, "well, spend time with Jesus.  Pray, read your bible, give thanks, spend time with people (because everyone is the Lord's favorite), journal, practice the spiritual disciplines with the purpose in mind of knowing God's heart more, and learn more about God which will help in knowing more of who Jesus is."

Then I think to myself: isn't this what the church, the religious institution and organization, should be helping people to do?  Religion is primarily about behaviors, which can be done without any real meaning behind them, so people become frustrated at "religion."  We say, truthfully, "It's all about relationship anyway, relationship to Jesus and relationship to others!"  That is true.  When the focus is turned back to relationship, religion then becomes a guiding force, a facilitator of that relationships helping us to know how to act and what to do in the context of those relationships.

 I believe we need to simply get the horse back in front of the cart, and throw off the cart what is not helpful.  The primary reason we do "Christian things" is for the sake of knowing God and living that relationship out in this world; that is the focus, the reason, the sole purpose and end.  Religion helps facilitate that relationship - and is only as helpful as it cultivates in us behaviors which help us know God more intimately.