The Mercy of Being Provided "Enough"

Currently I am a bi-vocational pastor who works for a major cell phone company as a customer service representative.  Before I began working for the cell phone company, I carefully calculated a budget and how many hours a week I would need to work to meet that budget, including overtime.  The company allows as much overtime as a person wants, meaning that I could work as much time as I needed to meet the budget that I figured I would need to survive.  So, I began to work 50-55 hour weeks in order to "make ends meet" - and quickly burnt out, drifting into despair as I slowly became more distant from God.  I was also too tired to put my all into the work that mattered - Kingdom of God work.

As things became darker and darker, I finally started talking - to one of my spiritual counselors, to my parents, and to friends about what was happening.  My spiritual counselor finally said this to me: "Matthew, you are very smart and very talented, and far too often you try to do everything on your own instead of simply trusting God.  You rely on yourself, not on God.  Why don't you try relying on God?" 

Following this conversation and one with my mom, I came to a decision: I will work no more overtime at my job to make ends meet.  I will work 40 hours a week at my secular job, recover, and work at the church where my main focus needed to be all along.  

As soon as I came to this conclusion, things began getting brighter.  Almost immediately my attitude lightened as I put in a 40 hour work week instead of a 50+ one.  I then got a surprise: I will be given a bonus for the amount of money that I would have received from working over time, to be paid out with my next pay check.  Suddenly, ends could be met putting in normal effort and trusting in God, instead of working overtime to make enough money by myself to make ends meet. 

This is the mercy, the grace, the blessing of being provided with "enough."  It's not extra, it's not smaller than what's needed, it simply is enough.  God provides if we rely on God's strength.  Some months I may be a little short, others I may have a little extra, still others I may have just enough.  But I know from now on I will not rely on myself, my plans, or my abilities to make the money I need to survive...I will trust in God for that!

"Lord, help me to rely on you...and help reveal to me all the ways I rely on myself instead of on you."