Dear Featherfear,
You wrote in your lousy
hand that you had only managed to get your charge to watch TV an hour every few
days. You imbecile! The key is to lead him into the extreme! If he watches in moderation, you are allowing
him to indulge in a pleasure of rest, instead of the engorgement that is
required to ruin the pleasure and for you to dominate his future. I'll need a report of what he is watching
immediately, as well as how much progress you are making in leading him into
obsessive TV watching.
See, our
Under-Development Department has, since the dawn of time, taken the idea of
pleasure and twisted it in order to destroy what the Enemy has given these
hairless monkeys with that horrific smile on His face. Indeed, we simply rotate what we give an
extreme-overabundance of or an extreme scarcity of, shifting cultural standards
so that there is never "just enough" but always too much or
too little. In the United States, we
have taken what was a (oh what's the word they use...gift? - but that's utter
nonsense, everything costs something!) and implemented instead the idea that it
is their right to have an extreme over-abundance of whatever they desire! Greed was ever our tool and plan with this
nation, and look how far we have come!
We started with what the
Enemy provided them with: food. Indeed,
we have cultivated this to the point where nearly two-thirds of the population
lack the brain filter and will-power to know when to stop eating! All it takes is a friendly relative, or a
good-intentioned fellow to offer, "Here, have a bit more, I'll be insulted
if you don't take some more, no, really, what am I to do with all the
leftovers!" We have kept from them
at all cost the idea of giving some to a neighbor in reasonable amounts, or
taking some to those in need, but instead preached to them en masse the
biblical notion of manna "take enough for today and leave none for
tomorrow." Nevermind the fact that
this was meant to give those desert-dwellers "just enough;" we have
instilled in them the notion that it is their duty to eat themselves to death
in order to leave "none for tomorrow."
At
the present time, people eat their way into heart-attacks, diabetes, and cancer
all because we give them too much of what most of the world never has enough
of: food! You see Featherfear, the extreme
is what counts when you tempt - always bring them into the extreme. This same extreme must be instilled in them
for everything they do, especially TV watching.
Slowly take them from a half hour a day to an hour a day, then to two
hours a day, then to three hours a day.
Create in your charge the sense that "just one more show" will
not affect the outcome of the day - work with another tempter to have a friend suggest
several shows with the comment "You HAVE to see this show!" Eventually,
instead of watching "just enough" to relax with a pleasure that could
be gained from a single show, bring them to the extreme where your charge only
watches TV for pleasure. This will simultaneously
make the TV their crutch activity for "pleasure" while destroying any
sense of what other activities might be done for "pleasure."
What sort of friends is
your charge hanging around and what do they do?
Any chance you can get him eating in front of the TV? Combining the two is such a delight,
Your
Affectionate Lowerior,
Darkwash
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