Struggling with Scripture #1: Judges 19:22-30

Scripture is the main tool that God uses to reveal God's self to humanity today.  When we read Scripture, we read it not to gain facts or information, but to gain a sense of the God whom we have devoted ourselves to with the purpose that we may enter into a deeper relationship with the One who loves us so much.  However, there are a lot of Scripture passages that make me struggle because they don't make sense.  Some of them are simply horrifying, such as Judges 19:22-30. These nightmarish passages raise questions and doubts, not faith.  What in the world can this passage say to us as Christians in the twenty-first century? 

As a Biblical scholar, I am aware of the variety of methods which can illuminate the reason for why this text exists in the Bible.  Yet, one question rips apart all method and shoves itself to the fore: "Why?  Why does this person have to experience betrayal by her husband, wanton rape by villains, and have her body hacked apart by her husband in the end (19:25, 29)?"

All of humanity struggles with this issue, the question of theodicy: why does God allow bad and evil things to happen to this world? To me?  Why does our world have to disappear in one terrible, wretched moment?  I wrestle with the ache that comes when this question is asked, I see the pain in the eyes of friends and family dealing with life-shattering issues, and I hear the pain of breaking hearts when family members die, when children die, when a life-threatening disease is discovered in the body, and when everything from the car to work to familial life crashes in a single day.

And the answer, the only answer I hear from God, is this: "I Know, and I love you."  In response, my hands raise themselves high, and crash against the desk below me with a resounding bang.  Tears flow down my face, and I raise my head arrogantly, pointing upwards, and with seething rage I shout, "HOW?  HOW DO YOU, GOD, KNOW?"  And then I hear the cry of my own heart, and the heart of aching humanity, scream with pain: "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" rip from the mouth of Jesus - God's own Son (Matthew 27:46).

And I understand...God does know the pain, the feeling of being forsaken, alone, crushed, and destroyed. And God has shown us the way to victory, by conquering death and bringing life through the resurrection of Jesus.  It doesn't make it better, or easier, or calm the pain.  But it gives hope for a brighter day, even if that day is not today. Judges 19:22-30, a text grasping its way up from the bottom of broken humanity, screams our pain.  Matthew 27:46 echoes that pain.  And the resurrection of Jesus breathes life.

Prayer for today: "Lord, help me to have faith and hope in You, even when my faith and hope are lost in what little remains of my once whole life."